My advice on rebuilding your sense of community after leaving a Cult, Christianity, a religion you no longer believe in, or any situation where you have to start over. Navigating life after leaving any community that you’ve built relationships in can be challenging, but here’s some guidance on rebuilding and thriving, that I have found useful for myself, that has helped me.
Number 1, Acknowledge the struggle of losing community, show empathy to yourself, and recognize that others share similar experiences. Is one yes, myself, do understand your plight of struggling when you lose that sense of community and so do others, so give yourself empathy and be patient. Emotional trauma takes time to heal, leaving a place where you had community is an emotional trauma, it’s like the loss of a loved one. When I left JW, I faced family shunning, and then later in life departing from Christianity where I built a new “family” cost me significant friendships and while it was difficult I find it very refreshing to be where I am now. But following a truthful and honest path for myself both were necessary for the mental health and peace of mind that I know enjoy. Compromise is never a good place to be, for those of us who seek an honest and free life experience.
Number 2, Prioritize healthy life choices and what’s right for you, even if it means walking a lonely road. The mental health and peace gained are invaluable. Making healthy life choices and doing what’s right for you. Sometimes it is a lonely road but the “mental health” and peace is worth it.
And most importantly Number 3, Become very intentional about building a new community and your chosen “family”, try the following:
- Explore Facebook groups of shared interests to connect with people for activities like hiking, happy hours, dancing, camping, or game nights. Look for local groups aligned with your interests.
- Utilize the MeetUp app to discover like-minded individuals; I went to a divorce support group and I formed meaningful relationships through the divorce recovery group.
- Take care of yourself, be kind, and forgive. Embrace your own company and have fun, especially if you transition from a vast social network to a smaller one. I was told this once “you’ll learn to enjoy your own company and have fun.” Trust me going from being a popular person with a large social network to a very small one is challenging. I went from being a Christian rapper with a large social network to solo yolo quickly once I came out that I was leaving Christianity.
- Create your community by hosting events; there are others seeking like-minded connections. Organize gatherings regularly to foster a sense of belonging. You’ll be surprised that there are other like minded people looking for community, host events once a quarter, once a month, weekly or whatever fits your needs or schedule.
- Cultivate new hobbies with enthusiasm—whether it’s painting, dancing, sculpting, or singing, etcetera… Invest time in activities that bring joy and contribute to your mental health and happiness. Take the time to find something fun to do and let go and just enjoy.
Remember, your well-being is worth the investment of time and energy in yourself. Enjoy the journey of self-discovery and the creation of a fulfilling new chapter. Life’s adventure waits for your new journey finding happiness post-exit.
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